Monday, 17 April 2017

Why Do I Have Few Friends?


Friends are rare for me. I never seem to be able to have lots of them. Most of the time, I can count them on one hand. Well, close friends anyway.

I have been trying to use astrology to explain why this is the case. Let’s see:
The 11th house represents friends. The cusp of my 11th house is Aries – perhaps suggesting that my friendship needs or traits that I look for in a friend are those of the fiery or Arian kind – independent, go-getter, go for what they desire, action oriented, fearless people. Or literally, people that I naturally gravitate to have their Sun sign in Aries. I can also see those qualities as describing the type of friendship that seems more appealing to me – independent, more concerned with personal needs and wants. Taking a step back, Aries is the sign of one person whereas the opposite sign, Libra, is the sign of the other person. Since my friendships are described by Aries, it doesn’t seem far fetched to say that I’m my own (best) friend.

You can see that my lifelong mystery of “Why do I have so few friends?” is already partially solved just by looking at the sign on the cusp of the 11th house.

Next, to obtain further information or insights into my friends situation, we look at the ruler of the 11th house. For me, the ruler is Mars in the 1st house. The 1st house, among other things, represent me. One interpretation of this: where do I find my friends? (look at the ruler of the 11th house).  It’s found in me (1st house). Voila! This explains another piece of the friendship puzzle. Let’s also look at the sign of the friends ruler – Mars is in Cancer. In traditional astrology, Mars is in its fall i.e. the planet cannot function optimally as it’s in an uncomfortable place (side note: Mars in Cancer conjures in my mind a macho man in a dress…). So maybe friendships don't "flow" as easily for me as compared to other people whose friendship ruler is in a compatible element/sign.

What about the aspects made to Mars, my friendship ruler?
  • Mars conjunct Mercury – I may constantly think about friends or communicate about them (like what I’m doing now). It could also mean that talking to friends are integral to me. Talking and friendship goes hand in hand.
  • Mars quincunx South Node in Aquarius – Aquarius is the sign of groups and associations or the “natural” sign of friendship. When South Node is in Aquarius – it’s part of my comfort zone to have friends, what I’m accustomed to anyway (although it could mean that I feel like the odd one out in a group). So, having friends which is what I’m used to has nothing in common with the actual state of friendships. An adjustment is required to align the two if I wish to.
  • (Mars conjunct Mercury) square (Saturn in Libra conjunct Jupiter) – when manifested negatively, I have some kind of private fear or inhabitation towards friendships or talking to them, perhaps due to self-perceived handicap in being able to relate to them. Positively, I’m responsible and duty-bound to them albeit in a positive way, especially using my mental and communicative self with them.
Okay, I think I have figured out the friendship mystery. Well, most of it anyway given that I have only considered a specific portion of the natal chart. I don’t think I’m “doomed” to a life of few friends, not that it’s a sin or something wrong. I could certainly “reverse” my situation by manifesting the “positive” dimension of my natal chart if I choose to. It’s quite a lot of work though, especially given Saturn’s involvement.

Interestingly, the best period of my life when I have quite a number of friends was when I was in Bermuda. Astrologers who practise relocation astrology believe that different areas of your life (e.g. career, relationships, family, friends) take a different emphasis when you move away from your birth place to somewhere far away, e.g. move from the East coast to the West coast of USA. To find out the state of my friendships in Bermuda, I will have to erect the relocated chart for Bermuda and repeat the process above. That’s for another post.